38 weeks!

Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant and ready to hold my baby! 

Let me back up a little bit. I went in for my 37 week appointment on Thursday and I swore up and down I was having repeat kidney stones. I had terrible low back and side pain that made me nauseous and (tmi) burning in my urethra. Almost identical symptoms to when I had my first round of kidney stones. 

So, I went in for my regular appointment, feeling awful. My midwife checked me and I hadn't made any progress from last week. Still 2cm, 80% effaced. She had the nurse come in and take my blood to rule out any infection or kidney stones and I was sent on my way. In pain.

I was expecting to get a call that night since that is what she usually does, but 6:45pm rolled around and nothing. I called the office and they instantly connected us and she wanted me to come into Labor & Delivery for a labor check. I thought she was nuts but agreed anyway. I did not feel like I was in labor at all.

I got to L & D, the nurses did all of their standard stuff. Blood pressure, temp check, pee in a cup. Blah blah blah. Dean's heart rate was great and I wasn't contracting at all. Then my midwife came in and checked me again and I was at 3+ cm, 90% effaced and his head was at -1 station. A tiny bit of progress but I didn't feel any different. I was given some anti-nausea and pain medicine and sent home to rest.

The next day (Friday) I got a call that my blood results came back normal so she didn't think it was kidney stones and likely that I was in the early stages of labor. Which explained how uncomfortable I was. I was having inconsistent but painful and uncomfortable contractions for the majority of the day. Maybe this was it? Nope. All contractions stopped around 9pm and I got a restful night of sleep. 

Baby Dean, please come soon!

Weight Gain:
Down 3 pounds from last week.

Baby Movement:

Until today his movements have been slow but now he just can't get the wiggles out of him. He keeps jabbing me in the ribs with his little feet, ouch!

Symptoms:

Nesting... like a mad woman.

Contractions.

Kidney stone pain. {or so I thought}

Cravings:
Grilled chicken & veggies... I can't get enough!

Crushed ice.

Looking Forward To:

Meeting my sweet boy!

Labor updates:

3+ cm dilated.

90% effaced.

Head at -1 station.

Appointment Updates:
Next one is Thursday.

separation anxiety.

It is becoming pretty real to me that I'm having a baby in two weeks.

Repeat.

I am having a baby in TWO weeks.

While I am over the moon excited about the arrival of Dean. Like, really excited! I am also anxious, sad and nervous for delivery day. I have never left Paisley over night with anyone. I can count the number of bed times I have missed on one hand. And when I get home I go in and kiss her over and over again, feeling super guilty that I was gone. And it isn't because she has separation issues, it is because I do. {sigh}

I have a hard time leaving her with my own mom while I go out and run errands every now and then. Heck, I have a hard time leaving her at home with Danny. I just miss her.

I'm a paranoid person I guess. I know she always has a ton of fun and is 100% safe when I'm away from her, but I still worry. It is even worse when I know she is going to be out and about with someone when I'm away from her. I literally do whatever I need to do, as fast as I can to get back to her. Her grandparents get mad at me that they don't get to babysit her.

So leaving her overnight when I am having her baby brother is STRESSING. ME. OUT. I can cry just thinking about it. Danny makes fun of me for this. But literally, I cry about it. She will read this one day and laugh at me too, I'm sure.

Everyone keeps telling me that once baby number two comes along I'll be begging people to take my kids. But I just don't see that happening.

So, Paisley girl. Just know that it is because I love you with my entire heart and love being around you!

WISH ME LUCK!

37 weeks!

I had my 36 week appointment this past week and I am 2cm dilated, 80% effaced and Dean's head is super low. I asked my midwife about induction because we had discussed it earlier in my pregnancy due to being higher risk. She said she will induce me but doesn't think she'll need to. I'm not getting my hopes up though. We'll see if I make any progress by my next appointment.

How far along?: 37 weeks

Baby is the size of a: watermelon

Total weight gain/loss: I'm at my exact pre-pregnancy weight. Not bad eh?

The bump: I'll post a picture below... I'm getting large. Very large.

Symptoms: TERRIBLE tailbone pain. I fear that back labor is in my near future.

Food Cravings: Grilled chicken and veggies. I need them, now!

Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Not anymore.

Sleep: I usually wake up twice a night and then can't fall back asleep for a half hour.

What I miss: the days when I didn't have allergies.

Rings On or Off: on

Any Names Picked Out Yet: Dean Allan. Can't wait to meet you sweet boy!

Movement: He has slowed down a lot but still likes to get up under my rib cage and wiggle.

Maternity Clothes: bottoms for sure. No tops though

Labor signs: Made a little progression this week but no signs yet.

Best Moment of the Week: Spending time with the sweetest girl ever!

• What I’m excited about/looking forward to: LABOR AND DELIVERY. Lets hope it goes as easy as Paisley's :o)

I have my next appointment this coming Thursday and I'll find out if I've progressed any further. I know this is my second so things usually go a lot faster. Just my luck I'll deliver Dean on the side of the road.

I debated whether or not I should post this picture on the Internet... But for baby book's sake, here it is. 

37 week bump, and stretch marks. Blah!

Hanging out in baby brother's room

Reading "The New Baby"

36 weeks!

36 weeks and 3 days pregnant! I'm almost done! 

Size of baby:
I had my 36 week growth ultrasound yesterday and Dean weighs 6lbs 14oz! That is 13oz more than his big sister was at 39 weeks. I didn't get his length and I'm sure his weight is a little bit off, but its a good guess. My tech sucked and I had to choke information out of her. My usual girl, Jessica always keeps me in the loop and tells me how big he is measuring, what she is looking at, blah blah blah. Towards the end I finally got her talking, thankfully. We could even see that he has lots of hair! And according to my iPhone app, he is the size of a watermelon! 

Weight Gain:
I've gained 6lbs in two weeks, yikes. But with gestational diabetes that is kind of expected. 

Baby Movement:

He has slowed down quite a bit but is still super strong and likes to wiggle up under my ribs.

Symptoms:

Dizziness.

Contractions. {some painful, but nothing close to the real deal}

Headaches.

Kidney stone pain. {on and off}

Tired. All. The. Time. Pais and I just took a two hour nap and I could go down for bed right now. Blah!

Cravings:
Sleep.

Crushed ice.

Italian food. {I want it SO bad!}

Mongolian BBQ. {Someone tell Danny to take me on a date, please!}

What I Miss:
I don't really remember before I was pregnant. I don't miss much. Even with a couple complications I still love being pregnant. I love how I look (for the most part), I love feeling little kicks and wiggles, I love telling Paisley about what it is like to be a big sister. Pregnancy is just such a cool thing. 

Looking Forward To:

Once a week midwife appointments. 

These last couple weeks with just me and my Paisley girl.

Picking up some last minute baby items.

Appointment Updates:
On to once a week appointments! My next one is Thursday.

Paisley led potty training

Pais is almost two and a half (29 months old) and in the last two weeks she has completely potty trained herself during the day.

It all started about a month ago when she was randomly naked and pee'd on her little red potty. Danny and I were both in shock because prior to that, she really hadn't shown any interest in being potty trained. I attempted once when she was way too young but gave up and decided she would potty train when she was ready. I didn't care if it was at two year old, two and half or three. She is just one of those kids that is so amazingly easy to parent that I knew it would happen when she was ready.

So, that same week I bought a bag of M&M's and made her a potty chart with re-usable velcro stickers. I put the potty chart right above where her little red potty is and made that her potty corner. She also has a minnie mouse potty seat that attaches to the regular toilet but she seemed more comfortable on the little red one at first. She wasn't using it consistently though. She would be naked and just hold it until nap time or we had to leave and would go in her diaper.

But two weeks ago that all changed. She didn't want her diaper on at all while we were home. Luckily we have been home a lot and she gets to run naked. I tried the whole panty thing but we need to get her a bigger size so she can get them off easier.

In the last two weeks she has had ONE accident during the day time. And it was because her panties were too tight and she couldn't get them off in time. She even stays dry at nap time and during outings (with a diaper) and goes by herself when she wakes up. But yesterday I decided to push my luck for our first outing without a diaper. I put her in big girl panties, capris and Crocs (just in case she had an accident, I could easily rinse them off). We were going to my 36 week ultrasound and my mom was meeting us at the hospital to watch her. I put a towel under her bottom in the car seat and packed extra clothes and a towel just in case.

We left the house at 12:30pm and she went pee pee just before. We went to Fred Meyer to pick up a prescription and do a little grocery shopping and then got lunch and headed to the hospital. I reminded her that she needed to tell Mimmy (my mom) when she needed to go potty. By this time it was 2:15pm and I went back for my ultrasound. I came out at 2:40pm and expected her to be dry since she is pretty good at holding it. She was! She even told my mom she needed to go potty and did it on a regualr toilet. Go Pais!

I was beyond proud! How did she suddenly decide to do this on her own? Perfect timing if you ask me! On the way home she fell asleep in the car (still in big girl panties) and I carried her to her bedroom so she could nap for an hour or so. She woke up dry from nap again and was so proud of herself!

When she goes pee she starts yelling, "I did it mom! I did it!" She gets one M&M and one ice cream sticker to put on her chart. The chart isn't really meant for any kind of reward other than she loves putting the velcro stickers on. But last night we did take her out for a special ice cream date because she has been doing so awesome!

Night time is a different story. She definitely isn't soaking wet when she wakes up anymore since she goes right before bed. But I know night time training will come in time. I don't even acknowledge that she pee'd in her diaper overnight. I just take it off and we start fresh for the day, night time training will come in time.

But there you have it. I had no plan, no expectations, no discipline. All I did was give her the opportunity and  she was 100% ready to do it on her own.

on becoming a mom of two

I seriously have no idea where this post is going but it has been on my mind a lot lately.

How will we introduce Paisley to Dean for the first time?

What if she hates him?

What if she hates me?

How will Paisley react to not having my undivided attention?

How can I possibly love another baby as much as I love Paisley?

These questions circle in my brain daily. {especially lately} But at the end of every doubt I have, I smile and know that Paisley is supergirl, and can handle anything I throw her way. I know that everything will be fine. Better than fine. It is going to be great. Paisley is going to be such an awesome big sister. Sure, there will be hard times, a lot of trial and error, and possibly a lot of tears... from babies, toddlers and me.

But I know from talking to my own mom that all of these feelings I'm having are completely normal. She said that her and I were the dynamic duo before my brother came along. We were together 24/7, just like Paisley and I. We were each other's days and nights and she feared that bringing my little brother into the world would somehow take away from the special bond her and I had. It didn't.

I'm not all that worried about Paisley though. I'm more worried about me. Paisley is going to be so excited to have a baby around. She will love helping out with Dean and smother him with kisses, I'm sure. But I can't help but feel like I'm somehow losing this special time with her. It is slipping away, day by day.

The day Dean is born everything will change. She won't be my tiny baby anymore. She will be the luckiest girl in the world and turn into a big sister. I just keep reminding myself that I'm giving her one of the best and coolest gifts ever. A little brother, a playmate, and a friend.

And Dean, will be the luckiest boy in the world to have Paisley as his big sister.

Hospital Bag

For my few pregnant friends that have asked... Here it is.

Dean's Stuff

1. Little Giraffe Blanket {best blanket EVER. Paisley still sleeps with hers every night}

2. Aden + Anais Swaddle Blanket

3. Gumdrop pacifier {even though I don't plan on using it... you never know}

4. Blue Gown & Matching Hat {Baby Gap}

5. Gray "going home" outfit {Carter's}

6. White & gray onesies {Carter's}

7. Socks & gray mittens {Carter's}

momma stuff

1. Pajama bottoms {Old Navy}

2. Bravado! Essential Nursing Tank {AH.MAZ.ING}

3. Socks

4. Toiletries bag {filled with the necessities}

5. Folder {birth plan & foot print page from the baby book}

6. Notebook & Pen {for documenting labor & delivery, feedings, diaper changes etc.}

nursing stuff

p.s. sorry for the crappy pictures

1. Black nursing shawl {totally stylish. I hate the, "Look, I'm wearing a nursing cover" covers}

2. Medela Nipple Shield {my guess is I won't use this, but better safe than sorry}

3. Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter {smells delish!}

4. Lansinoh disposable nursing pads {I won't need them, but again... Just in case}

5. My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow

big sister gift

1. Minnie Mouse beach towel

2. Pink sunglasses

3. Pink Sandals {Crocs}

4. Monster's, Inc. Coloring Book & Crayola colored pencils

5. Melissa & Doug puzzle set {not pictured}

6. Snacks

And, everything fits into one small bag! Except my nursing pillow and Paisley's gift. As for Danny, he gets to pack his own bag.

A few last minute things we have to grab are the camera bag, phone charger and of course we will have the car seat ready to go! Oh, and for my going home outfit, I will just wear what I came to the hospital in.